Feeling lost at home


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I miss staying here, and that’s a big chunk of the problem.

Even though this area does not offer much, I cannot help but miss it.
I miss the quiet flowing of months and their colours reflecting on the land.
I miss the quiet flow of time without the need to continuously rush for difficult and deeply life-impacting decisions.
I miss staying here without thinking: “oh, I will leave within x hours or n days”.

I just want to stay by myself, enjoying woods and views as I used to do when I was a stupid, naïve, lonely teenager.
But so many years have passed.

Jack Kerouac, “On the Road” novel, writes:

“Home in Missoula,
Home in Truckee,
Home in Opelousas,
Ain’t no home for me.
Home in old Medora,
Home in Wounded Knee,
Home in Ogallala,
Home I’ll never be”

Maremma during summer. Mount Amiata in the background (1739 m) – July 2023

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